Bit My Tongue!

There are some lessons I need to learn over and over before they "stick". One of these lessons is biting my tongue when I'm tempted to just say what's on my mind or the first thought that pops into my head. I'm learning that just because it pops into my head, doesn't mean it needs to come out of my mouth. I don't think I was born with a natural filter that evaluates these thoughts. :)

Although I still have a hard time with filtering my thoughts, I have seen some improvements lately. Because I know this is an area of weakness for me, I am conscious of the progress I am making. I had an opportunity this week to reflect on that.

Awhile back, I made a commitment to get rid of all the 'negative talk' both in my head and what left my lips. It has improved, but I can still get sucked in to negative conversations once in awhile. I was at a meeting where people were complaining about their spouses. I think it's easy to fall into the typical stereotypical images that our society portrays as it pertains to our roles in our marriages or just as men and women. I noticed that this group of people was no different. Normally, I would nod and agree and maybe be involved with the conversation. What surprised me was that it was EASY for me NOT to get into the conversation. I was not even tempted. It was easy to bite my tongue after many months of practice. The 'negative talk' has diminished over the years. I am now focusing on being a more positive person.

It was refreshing to realize that I CAN change! I've learned that your thoughts really do shape your character. What do your thoughts portray to people? Think about that for a minute....Because what you are thinking, will become your character.

The Heart of the Matter

I sat down with a new friend today. We quickly learned we had much in common and many common friendships throughout the community. It's such a small world! Well, I suppose when you live in a small community, it's bound to happen.

As we chatted, the subject turned to homeschooling and how I enjoy it. She asked how I did it all; meaning how I educate them and run the house and a home business. I pondered for a second, and then said to her:

"If I don't have my child's heart, I won't have their mind. I can't teach them anything academic if I their character is lacking and if they don't obey. They won't obey if their attitude is not right. For example, if I get them to obey me out of fear of punishment, but their attitude is rotten inside, then I've just created an angry, resentful child who will keep their emotions bottled up. So getting them to just change behavior is not enough. I'm looking for them to change their heart (their attitude). If Jack Henry hits Gabriel, it's not enough to get him to stop hitting. I have to talk to him to understand WHY he's hitting him and the emotions and feelings that led him to do the behavior. Then he can work on the core character that led him to his actions. Once we can establish the character, which is a constant process, we can then move on to academics. Academics at this point are secondary and a natural progression to the character training we've been doing for years."

This important piece I have learned in various arenas, including messages as church, speakers at homeschooling conferences, the Bible, and other great books and resources.

For more information visit:

www.voddiebaucham.org
Listen to his talk on "Centrality of the Home"

www.doorposts.com
Good information on Character building for our children